Psalm 127

When I was in seminary one of my professors regularly challenged us to memorize Scripture. Each week he would have us memorize particular verses, quiz us on them, then we would have open discussions of how these verses apply to church and family. One of the Scriptures we had to memorize was an entire Psalm.

Psalm 127 states, " Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate" (NKJV).

I share this passage because right now in our marriage Jeritt and I are dealing with one constant question from our family, "when are you going to have children?" It seems that every time we visit with particular family members it is all about the question when. We experience constant pressure to procreate and it makes visiting with family a chore. This is our current struggle. How do we express to our family that we love each other and we are blessed right now?

We are told over and over again of how children are a blessing from the Lord, how we would make wonderful parents, and how joyful and full our lives would be once we have kids. I don't doubt any of those statements, however, Jeritt and I are enjoying our life now. We are close to our third anniversary and are still in a honeymoon stage.

Of course the possibility of having children is a discussion Jeritt and I have. It's not really that we are opposed to having children. We continually pray about children, we even pray for our future children by name, yet the heart's desire has not changed fully to wanting to be parents at this stage of our marriage. Whether we get pregnant next month, next year or never, the simple fact remains that we love being married to one another. If for some reason, God does not see it in His will for us to ever have our own children, then we would most certainly adopt if that is God's plan for us. Yet, at this point and time, we fully believe God's plan is for us to be childless.

Recently, I have thanked my sister for helping take some of the parenting pressure off of me on my side of the family. Since my sister has become a mother, our mother, father, aunts,and uncles have seemed to stop questioning Jeritt and I as often. However, that is not the case on Jeritt's side of the family.

No one has ever asked us, the why question, "why don't you want to have children?" They always ask us when. If they asked why we are not having children at this time, perhaps they would understand. However, I rarely have an opportunity to share our reasoning but reasons are there. The first part of Psalm 127 says, " Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it." We only want to seek what God has for our marriage, on His timeline in order to be blessed by Him.  But the simple fact of the matter is that we don't see it as God's will for our marriage today. Therefore, perhaps tomorrow, He will release us to move towards having children, or maybe not. I just would like for our families to be OK with that.

Finally, I am so blessed to witness all of my friends who have become moms recently, or are pregnant right now. I rejoice in seeing them in a new light, as a mom. It's such a wonderful occasion. One day, that may be me, but for now please understand that we are fully satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being just Jeritt and Merritt King- today.