A fresh Word from the Lord

While I was praying over what to write today, I decided to review some of my notes in my phone to see what God was leading me to share. I fell upon a note I wrote to myself on April 29, 2022, which was a fresh Word from God for me and my family. 

One of the key reasons I write down what God is sharing with me is that I believe God wants each Christ Follower to build an altar to Him whenever He moves in the life of the believer. Thus, the journals for the boys, this blog, my notes in my phone, my journal, and any other location that I write down what I believe the Holy Spirit is sharing with me is my altar to God. One day, hopefully, my kids will read these things and see God's faithfulness and they will commit to following HIM and only HIM. I also do this so I can share with others as the Lord leads. 

Here are my notes from the Word of the Lord given on 4/29/2022.

*God is filling us with new wineskin and fresh oil. 

*He has declared that we will be blessed and highly favored in His place. 

*Wherever we go, we will have more than enough, we are favored. 

*People will long to bless our family.

*The money of evil men and women will be given away as gifts to your family so we may pay it forward and bless others. 

*Those locusts who took without asking, who took in secret and who took without repayment will be removed and you will receive seven-fold for what was eaten. 

*You will be healthy and healed. 

*Illness has to leave you and your family now in Jesus' name. 

*You will have victory and will be able to resist the devil in all things. Things that hindered you will be removed. 

*Those who cursed you will be removed. 

*God says you are blessed. 

*God says praise me in the morning, at lunch, when you sit at dinner, and when you go to bed. I see you praising me at night with your children. "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty" YES- I AM HOLY. Praise me now. Follow me only. I will continue to direct your steps. 

*Continue to walk in the path- the narrow path I have set before you. 

*Nothing can come against you because you are mine and you are training your children to be mine. 

*You are so precious to me. Walk in that assurance. Continue to praise me. Know my reckless love for you. 

Verses the Lord reminded me of during this time. 

John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (ESV) 

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (NKJV)

Deuteronomy 1:11 "May the Lord, the God of your ancestors, increase you a thousand times and bless you as He has promised." (NIV)

As I review this Word from the Lord, I am still in awe that He would offer this blessing to me. I am reminded of His faithfulness and His goodness and how blessed I am to be called a daughter of the Most High God. 

These scripture verses are very important in the receiving of this blessing from the Lord. 

First, I must remember that there is a spiritual battle going on. Good vs Evil. It is so true and real. We must remember that the enemy does not want us to follow the Lord, nor does he want us to have an afterlife with Christ. The devil doesn't want us to have successful marriages, nor does he want us to raise Godly children and he certainly does not want us to have a testimony to share with the lost of this world. God longs for us to walk with Him daily in the abundance that He offers. God wants us to make a positive impact for Christ in our homes, our communities and in our nation. Thus, we must consistently seek God's face and allow Him to help us in our daily battles so we can be fruitful in the ministry He has for us. I love how God mentioned some of our "battles" in this blessing and what He intends to do about it. 

Secondly, through Christ I can do all things because it is He who gives me strength. When I try to accomplish things outside of Him, my strength is not enough. Sure, I can accomplish many things if I put my mind to it, but how much more can I accomplish if I give up control and allow Him to give me strength to carry out my orders. This way I will walk in His mercy, His grace, His goodness and His strength... Never to tire or grow weary... in Him. 

Lastly, the final verse I was given really hit home for me. When I moved to Texas God gave me specific verses which showed me that Texas was where I was to reside. This was a huge move for me, and I left all my friends and family to make this move. I remind God of these verses He shared with me, and I remind myself of them, so I can recall all He has done and will continue to do if I am faithful. Moreover, this verse in Deuteronomy is something I must have read many, many times but unfortunately, I never saw it for what it was. It is God's promise of a thousand-fold blessing...a reminder that HE remembers the original promise and HE will keep it up to 1000 times. WOW. 

So today, what is God sharing with you? Perhaps you have forgotten a blessing He has offered specifically to you and today you find yourself in a place that does not have joy and peace. These blessings may be specific to my family however I believe that the bible is FULL of blessings for you and your family. You just need to believe and be faithful to HIM. Today I hope you will quietly pray for the Holy Spirit to remind you of God's goodness and His love for you. I hope today you will repent of sin and seek to remove all evil from your life. I hope you will find comfort in His word and dwell in it today. He longs to love you. Not as the world loves you but only in a way the Loving Father of creation can love you. He created you with a plan and a purpose, He created you just for this time. Offer up a prayer now, ask, seek and knock... Jesus will meet you and help you. All you have to do is ask. In Jesus name... AMEN. 

Rule of 5 for my husband

 Yesterday I posted about the Rule of 5 that John Maxwell teaches on. I mentioned in the post that I would share my husband's rule of 5. Here you go...

1. READ the Bible

2. WRITE in the gratitude journal.

3. COLLECT a quote

4. ENCOURAGE the boys with my words 

5. ACTIVITY with my family

**Read Write Collect Encourage Activity**

Once again, I don't believe my husband purposely picked the order of his Rule of 5, however I do appreciate that he put reading his Bible first. My favorite scripture verse is Matthew 6:33. It states, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." It is so important to seek God first and foremost in your life. As stated in yesterday's post- he will direct you and guide you and this guidance will lead to fruitfulness. It doesn't necessarily mean that life will be problem free however I do believe that when faced with problems, if we are abiding in Him, those problems will weigh less on us. 

Journaling is something that both Jeritt and I do occasionally. We think it is helpful to write out our thoughts, prayers, scriptures, needs and offer thanksgiving to God. It is nice to see that my husband wants to make sure that this is a daily habit. 

Collect a quote might seem like an odd daily task. Yet, I think it shows me that my husband wants to grow. He has shown to me some of the daily quotes he has collected. Some quotes were funny, some enlightening and others challenging. He is a cosmetology teacher and most days he will put up an inspirational quote for his students to ponder and discuss. 

Encourage the boys with my words... this one has been an important one for my husband and really for me too. We are very matter of fact people, and our love language is definitely NOT words of affirmation. However, we know the necessity of building our boys up, helping develop their self-confidence and their identity in Christ. Daily it is important to us to practice praising the boys for their accomplishments and helping them learn from their mistakes or discoveries without being too overbearing. The daily reminder to be encouraging is a great rule to have in the Rule of 5. 

Activity with my family... It is nice to purposefully approach each day thinking of something productive to do with the family other than the usual. We try to find a family friendly show that we can all sit down and watch together for 30 minutes an evening. Sometimes the activity is cleaning up from dinner, doing the dishes together... that's not so fun but necessary. Sometimes it is going outside to look at the sunset, or walking to our mailbox, or riding bikes at the lake. Just something together that does not involve the cell phone or computer. 

Anyway, I hope reviewing the Rule of 5 yesterday and today will get your mind thinking. Perhaps it is time for you to create a Rule of 5 for you. It's not something you have to commit to 100%. Remember I gave myself a 75% on my successful completion of my 5 daily. Now I would say I would give myself a 95% in completion of my first rule daily.... Moreover, I am reminded that we must be purposeful in our day, but also be flexible. God sometimes needs our willingness to set aside our daily agenda to carry out His tasks and sometimes His tasks are already in our daily agenda. God bless! 

Rule of 5

I am a huge fan of John Maxwell. In 2015, my employer allowed me to be trained by John Maxwell in his mentorship/leadership program. It was a pleasure to be present with John Maxwell and the great leaders he employees in his mentorship program. I even got to personally meet him. 

As a fan of his, I often read his books and watch his videos. Last year, I came across one of his teaching videos which I found to be quite insightful and encouraging. He discussed something he calls The Rule of Five. Now please bear with me because I certainly am not going to do the explanation of this teaching justice. If this interests you, I encourage you to find his video on the Rule of Five - anywhere- YouTube, John Maxwell's website etc. If you search for it, you will find it. In this teaching he shared how he has 5 rules he focuses on each day, that are for his own personal and spiritual growth, which he accomplishes every day to help him. 

So, being inspired by his teaching, I set off to create my own Rule of 5, and I am so grateful I did just that. 

Here is my Rule of 5 list: Every day I will....

1. READ God's word and either watch a video or read a book, something to grow me as an individual. 

2. MOVE my body physically to improve overall wellness. 

3. LOVE and serve my family by avoiding distractions and being present. 

4. WRITE something to inspire, challenge and uplift. 

5. PRAISE God and speak of how grateful I am for HIS goodness. 

**Read, Move, Love, Write, Praise**

Now, today I am reviewing my Rule of 5 and taking an assessment of how I did last year with these five. I would probably give myself a 75% on the successful completion of these five daily. 

Why?

Things come up... right? I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend.... sometimes I would complete most of the 5 but definitely not all of the five. 

Next thought in my reflection time on the five is, were these reasonably attainable for me? YES they were. 

What's next?

Well, I think I will work on the five again this year. Just as they are written- no changes to be made. Perhaps I should reorder them? No... I don't think that is what I need to do. However, I do believe I need to prioritize better. 

Life is busy. It can get messy. Things get pushed to the side because of emergencies. However, I know that it is good to have a goal, game plan, some type of idea of where you are headed each day. 

Psalm 119 comes to mind when I think about my day-to-day life. 

Psalm 119:35 states, "Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight." (NIV)

Psalm 119:133 states, "Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me." (NIV)

God must be in my daily living plans. He must be first. I don't think when I originally wrote out these 5 rules that I thought through the order I placed them in, however, I love how I did order them. First is my time with the Lord. Daily, I seek to start my time with Him early in the morning. He must direct my path so that I won't sin and so that I find fulfillment in the day and thus carry out His purpose for that day. I also really appreciate how I put praise the Lord last. As I review that rule what I see is me coming before God at the end of my day and acknowledging all the wonderful works of His that occurred that very day. AMEN! 

Steps 2, 3 and 4... Well, 2 and 4 are things for me. Right? Well, sort of anyway. I think making sure my health is a daily task is important. Especially given how my health has struggled since 2016 when I was diagnosed with dermatomyositis. The bible teaches us that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). I believe the Lord urges us to take care of our bodies, so we are fit and able to carry out His plans and purposes daily. Now, can there be a time in which we are unwell and that is the purpose. I am sure there are times in which we are gaining lessons in this, however, I firmly believe God has called us to a purpose -daily and we must be able to complete our God tasks. 

Step 4, writing. Well, I feel led to write often. I have so many different little writings on my laptop and in my phone. I also keep a journal for each of my boys. Writing is a part of me, although, I don't expect people to read it. If someone does read what I write, my prayer is that it will draw them closer to God. The journals I keep for the boys will be like a love letter to them when they are older. Time is so precious here on Earth. I don't know when God will call me home, but I do know that I want the boys to know how much they are loved by me, by their dad, and by God. The journals will hopefully help them to experience that. 

Step 3... Love and serve my family by avoiding distractions and being present. Wow. That is a great goal or rule.. and sometimes I fail miserably at it. It's the distractions that get me. My phone, cleaning, cooking whatever it is. Sometimes I just lose focus. Jesus told us in Acts 1:8, "...you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Practically speaking my Jerusalem is my home, the boys, my family. I must be a witness to the people in my home first. Then I can be a witness to my community, my state, my country. This is the order God has assigned. I see so many hurting Christian families because they don't understand this principle. They expect the church to witness to their family. If God wanted the church to do all the witnessing, then why did God so many times tell us how to raise our children? 

Proverbs 22:6 says, "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (NKJV) The parent is supposed to lay the biblical foundation onto the child's heart. Not the church and certainly not the world. The parent. 

Today is the day that I will attempt to make a significant shift in my Rule of 5 completion. Hopefully today, I can carry out these 5 while honoring God through them.. and continue this practice faithfully. Following God's plan every day, starting my time out with Him first thing so I can get my daily instructions and then end my day telling Him how awesome He is and how I finished my daily tasks for Him. 

Hopefully, you can do that as well. I encourage you to create your own Rule of 5. I had my husband create his own Rule of 5. Perhaps tomorrow, I can write out his for you. Anyway, sit down and pray over what God wants your Rule of 5 to be for the year. Write them out. Simplify them to help you commit them to memory. Then carry it out this year and this time next year, examine your growth and completion of the daily 5. I hope it will grow you personally, professionally, emotionally, and spiritually. I hope your 5 brings you closer to your loved ones. The choice is yours. 

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

On the way home from picking up the boys from school, they were asking me if we could move to a different home. If you don't know our story let me fill you in real quick... we live with Jeritt's parents. Back when I fell ill, we honestly were not certain if I would live. Thus, the decision to move in with Jeritt's parents came up and we accepted. This has been a huge blessing for us, and the boys have enjoyed living here. However, recently they have asked more than once when are we going to move into our own home. 

The conversation on the way home from school this day was Beaumont asking if we would move into a new home. I told Beaumont that we must pray to God about such things and wait for His answer. If God wants us to move into our own home, I believe He will make a way for it to happen. Beaumont then prayed out loud to God asking him for a new home so he could have his own bedroom. 

Knowing this was a teachable moment I decided to share a scripture with him. Psalms 37:4 states, "Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart." I shared with Beaumont that God wants us to delight in Him, to think about Him, worship Him, think of Him like a best friend... meaning go to Him always with our concerns and our praises. Once we begin to "delight" in Him, then our desires will match His desires and we will see how He moves in our lives. Beaumont then prayed again out loud. He said, "God you are my bestest buddy, you are my greatest friend. Please hear me about wanting our own home so I can have my own room." 

I giggled at the sweetness of his request, and reminded him that God knows when we are lying, so we must be certain that when we pray we are honestly seeking Him when we make our requests. Then Beaumont prayed again out loud, "God if you believe my prayer then I will throw you a pizza party in heaven when I meet you there. High five God, High five. Amen." 

Man I love this baby son of ours. Beaumont is autistic. Sometimes how he words things, how his brain works puts me in awe. What a teachable moment for this mommy. Beaumont showed me in that short prayer that he understood that God was his friend, that God was in fact his buddy, so much so that he wanted to bring God a gift- a pizza party... How precious. And then to offer a high five to God... like Beaumont could tangibly touch God's hand here on Earth... Wow. 

Today in Church news I am hearing of a revival starting in Asbury University. Once again, the young people are crying out to God for him to move in their lives and the lives of the people of the United States. Like my sweet Beaumont, these university students are delighting themselves in the Lord. I believe this revival has continued now for 6 days, 24 hours a day for these 6 days... and now word is that other Christian universities are following suit. I pray that this revival will continue and open up on all college/university campuses throughout the USA. We so desperately need the Lord. 

If we will remove the noise from our lives, remove the distractions and fervently seek the Lord, we can and will see a change in our own lives, in the lives of our families and then in the lives of our communities. But we must start with ourselves. We must seek Him, repent of sin, and remove the worldliness from our own lives first. God wants to be first place and will ONLY accept that first place position in our lives. But it's up to us to place Him there. 

My prayer is that our sons, Allister and Beaumont, will be the salt and light in their schools. I hope that God will use them to advance His Kingdom where they are. It would be awesome to see a revival start here in our community like what we are witnessing in these Christian Universities. 

Back to the original verse - Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart...It's been my prayer for years to see revival and reformation in the USA. It's also been my prayer that our sons would follow Jesus and help advance His Kingdom.... and now in 2023, I am going to be praising God and praying even more because I do believe, I just might get to see the answer to this heart desire of mine!! Praise God. 

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction

Proverbs 1:7 says, "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction." This verse really spoke to me this morning and a flood of information from the Holy Spirit just came upon me so I thought I should write it down. 

Somedays I wonder if the church fears the Lord anymore. I know that there are plenty of great churches that honor the Lord and teach the congregation to fear the Lord. However, I also see so much sin in the lives of church people, so much compromise, so much justification for wrongdoing that I ask myself, have we lost the fear of the Lord? 

The Word is a mirror in which to examine ourselves first, and I know that I have been guilty of not fearing the Lord as I should. I have delayed obedience; I have certainly committed sins that I have to repent of, and I am sure there are things now that I need to confess for forgiveness. 

However, when the outside culture sneaks into a church and begins to change church doctrine then there is a serious problem. The church is supposed to bring about positive change to the surrounding culture. We are supposed to lovingly and truthfully share the gospel of Jesus Christ everywhere. We are supposed to bring the unsaved to the one who can cast out all demons, who can restore and bring a victorious life. Instead, what I have observed is that the church has sat idly by and allowed our ears to be tickled by smooth talking preachers that have slowly perverted the word. 

Second Timothy 4: 3-4 states, "For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."

Romans 1:28-32 says, "Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents, they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God's righteous decrees that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them."

Now is the time to repent friends! We must follow what the Bible teaches and become holy. I don't know about you, but I certainly do not want to be the fool found in Proverbs chapter 1 verse mentioned at the beginning of the blog. The fool is unteachable and hates wisdom and instruction. If we are continually sinning, if we continually justify our lack of holiness then God will have nothing to do with us. If we continue to be permissive to the sin around us, then we are in sin as well. I know that He loves us and through Jesus we are saved. However, there is a standard that we must maintain, and that standard is holiness. 

For too long I think we have bought into the lie that we are to be happy. Happiness is not the standard. Holiness is God's standard and when we are in right standing with the Lord, we will be full of HIS JOY. In Galatians, Paul talks about our freedom in Christ, however, we are not to use this freedom to indulge in the flesh. He says our flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit. We are to walk in the Spirit, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 

If you are not working towards holiness, then I have to question whether you are listening and obeying the direction of the Holy Spirit in your life. The Spirit cannot and will not lead you to do fleshly works.  IF the Bible says it's a sin, then we cannot continue to live in that sin and call ourselves Christ followers. If you are unteachable and unwilling to change or remove sin from your life, then I ask.....are you a Christ follower? Once again, the standard is there in the Bible. If the Bible says we cannot, then we cannot. If the Bible says we can, then we can. It's that simple. 

It is time to repent, turn away from sin and to sin no more in that area. Allow the work of the Holy Spirit in your life to reveal the sins and humble yourself into obedience to His Word. Take time to read the Bible, don't just go to church on Sunday and be done with your godly duty for the week. No, my friends, daily walk with God, daily read his Word, even if it is just 5 minutes of Bible reading... that is a start. Pray for one another. Help one another when there is a need. Be the church again. Remove man's doctrines from church that are opposite of what the Bible teaches. 

Church, we must come into agreement with what the Bible teaches so we can be effective in our communities again. God desires that all come to know him. Those with ears to hear.... LISTEN and OBEY. The time is now. 

Psalms 91:11 "For he will command his angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways..."

I love those God moments that occur in our life. It gives me a chance to praise God for who He is and to honor him by sharing our God story with others. Today, I want to share a God story with you. One in which God shows up- just because He is a good God who does what He says He will do. 

Our God Story

It was a Monday morning and everyone in our house was running a few minutes behind it seemed. Jeritt got into his truck to take our Beaumont, who was 3 years old at this time, to his day care in Arlington, Texas. I was home doing house chores because I was off this Monday. 

While doing chores, I stopped to say my routine morning prayer. This prayer consists of several scriptures, the Our Father plus a prayer for safety over the family and for God to send his guardian angels to minister to the needs of the family. 

On Jeritt's way to Arlington, he was just coming into the Benbrook, Fort Worth area of I-20 East when he realized he had a tire that was going flat. Quickly, Jeritt called me about the delay. He was pulling over to the side of the highway to take care of the tire situation. As Jeritt was letting me know where he was and what was happening, he told me to hold on for just a moment because a truck pulled in right behind him. Jeritt hung up the phone. 

I sent a quick text message to our spiritual parents, JD and Donna Smith, to ask them to pray for Jeritt and over this situation. Jeritt planned on stopping by their home this day for a visit and the flat tire would delay him. They got the text and said they would pray for him. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me that Jeritt's mom left for work late this morning and would potentially be driving by Jeritt on the highway any moment now. I called Candace, Jeritt's mom, to share with her what was going on. 

Honestly, I was anxiously waiting to hear something from Jeritt. This part of the interstate is very busy, and I was concerned for everyone's safety, so I prayed again for peace and safety. About 10-15 minutes later Jeritt calls me back. 

Jeritt says, "baby, you will not believe what happened. As soon as I pulled over and was calling you, a stranger in a truck just came out of nowhere it seemed and offered to help me." Jeritt explained that the gentleman told Jeritt to get the baby (Beaumont) in a safe place and he would go ahead and get the truck jacked up for them to remove the tire. 

The way Jeritt's truck is made, the car seat had to be removed from its spot in the back seat in order to get to the latch that would release the jack and spare tire. Right when Jeritt was trying to put Beaumont in a secure location, Jeritt's mom pulled up and said she would watch Beaumont while they changed the tire. Thus, Jeritt was able to get Beaumont moved safely, he was able to grab the spare tire, all while the stranger started the process of removing the flat tire. 

This gentleman, who I firmly believe was a guardian angel sent by God, changed Jeritt's tire and before Jeritt could even ask the guy for his name or say thank you, the man finished changing the tire and left. 

After we finished talking on the phone and Jeritt finished his God story, I began to thank God for his provision of a guardian angel to assist Jeritt in a time of need. I also thanked God for his delay of Candace so she would arrive at the exact moment needed in order to care for Beaumont.

Please know that God watches over his children. Even in the midst of a busy Monday morning, God can answer the simplest prayers for you. Psalms 91:11 says, "For He shall give HIs angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways." (NKJV) and Hebrews 13: 2 says, "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels." (NKJV)

I firmly believe that God sent a guardian angel to Jeritt and Beaumont that day so we would testify of His goodness. In these testimonies, of God's supernatural provision, we can see God's signs and wonders... even in an age where most people don't even believe in the supernatural. 

This is my "alter to God" for His goodness in our lives. He shows us his grace and mercy so often in our lives and He deserves to be praised. Not for what He can give me, but for being exactly who He is, the Almighty God the Father who knows what we need even before we ask him for it. 

I know that He delayed Jeritt's mom so she could watch Beaumont. I know that He sent this stranger to assist my husband in changing this tire. And I also know that through God's miracles, His signs and wonders, people come to know HIM. 

If you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Please ask God to send His Holy Spirit to you so you can know Jesus. Knowing God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit- the Trinity- has been the best thing to ever happen in my life. Hopefully, this blog..... these God stories, struggles I have faced that God has gotten me through and lessons I have learned will cause you to consider knowing God. Amen and amen. 

Genesis 3:1"....Did God really say?"

Doubt is undoubtedly a motivation killer. It slowly creeps in with one teensy little question which gradually over time undermines everything that you believe is true. What question am I referring to you might ask? Here it is.... "Did God really say..." 

For those of you who don't know me, let me introduce myself here. I'm Merritt. A mother of two boys, a 10-year-old named Allister and a 7-year-old named Beaumont, who by the way is autistic. I am happily married to my wonderful husband Jeritt. 

Merritt and Jeritt.... yes, our names rhyme and no we didn't change our names so they would be strikingly similar. They truly are our God given names from birth. I always say that we are a match made in heaven! I apologize for my assumption. It is a very common question that we receive when someone meets us for the first time. 

Anyway, I wanted to make it clear that my husband and I are Christ followers. It is very important to both of us to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit always. So, when this question pops up in one of our minds "Did God really say" we have to take pause and make sure we are walking in the obedience to God's Word and direction. 

In the Bible, Genesis 3:1, the serpent offers this little seedling of doubt to Eve, and quite honestly, all hell breaks loose in the garden, as Adam and Eve, forget to trust God and allow this tiny question to shape one decision, that changed everything. 

A year ago, I faced a difficult battle. Undoubtedly the serpent whispered this question in my head, and I was stuck. I kept trying to move forward into what I know is true, but really struggling with knowing for certain if God really said to me my next steps or did, I just make it up...or worse yet, did I hear wrong all together. 

The good news is that the Holy Spirit wakes me up early in the morning most days, way before the kids or my husband are up, and He talks to me. One morning He woke me up at 4:37 am to show me that I was in the middle of doubting God. Here is what happened. 

My motivation was gone. It felt like I was stuck in a jar of marshmallow cream. It is white, fluffy and sticky. Fairly harmless, marshmallow cream. When mixed with the right ingredients, it can create some really yummy candy. However, right at that moment, I was having a real hard time swimming through the muck of doubt, trying desperately to get to the top, to get to the answers. 

The Holy Spirit had me do a quick review of 2021 and to examine where that question, "Did God really say" popped into my life to cause stagnation. 

January 2021, Allister turned 9, Beaumont was just diagnosed by his school as autistic, I was working full time (50+ hours or more) in an executive role for a for profit vocational school as an Executive Academic Advisor. My husband was working full time as an educator for the same company. All normal routines were back after Covid wreaked havoc in 2020, except I was still working from home per my doctor's orders. 

February 2021, Beaumont was having big challenges in the after-school program, which by the way was not affiliated with the boy's elementary school, and quite honestly, they were just not equipped to handle an autistic child. They tried, but it was apparent to Jeritt and I that we needed to do something different. We began to pray about the boys after school needs. 

March 2021, we seek the approval from my direct supervisor to take a late lunch so I can pick up the boys from school, then finish my workday. It was clear that Beaumont really could not function in the after-school program, and we believed it was best to withdraw the boys temporarily from after school program and see what God showed us in that time. This was a pretty good band aid for the moment. 

April 2021, a bigger issue began to come up in our prayer time. I was struggling. Lately, I began to realize that I was no longer happy in my role at work. Although I believe that happiness is a choice, I also began to realize that change needed to happen. Not only was I stressed concerning work, but we had no clue what to do with the boys once school let out for the summer. I searched the internet trying to find a day camp that could manage Beaumont. Autistic kids have special needs, although Beaumont is verbal, sometimes in various settings he struggles with other children. Beaumont's safety and well-being is of course, extremely important to us and Allister's enjoyment and safety is important. So, what do we do? The only special needs Autism summer camps were in Dallas, 2 hours from us. At this point, I was desperate. I could tell that my stress level was affecting the boys, work and my marriage. Jeritt and I had to find out what we needed to do and fast. 

At this point, I began to review all my journal notes to see what God had spoken to me about 2021. 

God gave me three directives for 2021. He said, enjoy your family, rest in ME, and transformation. Then He said this, "Merritt, the love and protection you feel towards your boys is the same I feel for you. Can you feel it now? I AM here for you. Even when you don't feel me, hear me or sense me, I am here. Believe. Protect those you love from evil through faithful prayers. I hear you. Do not worry. I have the plans and I will carry them out even if you are unsure or make a miss step. I AM in control and will ultimately see the Kingdom of God on Earth. Remember your family first, not work, your plans are not MY plans...ALWAYS.... this.... you must seek MY face before you make decisions always."

Prayerfully, we asked God to show us what our next steps were to be. Looking over what God had spoken to me about 2021, we knew God would direct us and provide the answers we needed. And He did. May 7, 2021, was my last day in a career that I truly loved. God asked me to put aside my career, our second income, everything we had worked so hard to gain over the past 8+ years and say goodbye to working and say hello to being a stay-at-home mom. 

The only challenge was that we really needed that second income, or so we thought. We knew that temporarily we could manage on one salary but even with reducing our expenses, Jeritt's salary just would not cover the cost of everything.

As I was praying over our income needs and the boys after school needs and summer supervision needs, I felt like I was being nudged to consider getting my teacher's certificate for Texas. I have a bachelor's and master's degree. Recognizing this would allow me to have a similar schedule to the boys, plus doing something I love... teaching... I signed up. 

So why did this question of doubt come into my mind? What triggered the "did God really say?".... 

June 2021, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. This news was a shock to me, my family and my dad. He was one of the most fit people I knew. He ate healthy, was physically active and very much alive and a free spirit. 

Instead of spending this summer playing with the boys, I spent the summer of 2021 flying back and forth to the coast of NC, to be with my dad. My sister, aunts, cousins, family friends and Hospice all shared the load of taking care of my dad. Unfortunately, the cancer started in the pancreas and moved to his lungs and stomach. Pancreatic cancer ate him up. During this time my prayers changed from heal him here on earth to release him from this earthly shell and reward him with his heavenly body. 

Sadly, on September 30, 2021, my dad peacefully passed away in his sleep due to complications from cancer. And I was done. 

This event caused the muck that honestly kept me stuck for an entire year. From the moment I lost my dad to September 2022, I could not move forward in anything God wanted me to do. Did God really say... took a hold of me in one of my darkest moments and kept me from fulfilling God's plan. 

Lessons I learned during this struggle... 

Read your Bible, pray without ceasing and journal. Lean on your loved ones and friends. Heal. Don't make any rash decisions while you are in the middle of an emotional state. 

Most importantly, listen to the Holy Spirit and Trust God. He has your best interest at heart, and He will make His purposes known. Lastly, when the devil/or the serpent sneaks in and whispers or shouts to you..."Did God really say.." Tell that devil to go back to Hell, in Jesus' name!